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Adoption

What about placing the baby for adoption?

One of your choices is to complete your pregnancy and let someone else raise your child. Many women who make this choice are happy knowing that their children are loved and living in good homes. And they feel empowered in their role as birth mother. But some women find that the sense of loss is deeper than they expected.

There are two kinds of adoption:

• Open adoption — the birth mother selects the adoptive parents for her child.  She can find out about
  their values, lifestyle, and religion.  Their ideas about
  discipline and the educational opportunities
  they can offer may also be important to her.  She and the adoptive parents may choose to form a relationship. It may include ongoing visits with the child. 
• Closed adoption — increasingly less common, the names of the birth mother and the adoptive parents are kept secret from each other.
  

Adoption is legal and binding whether it is open or closed. Few adoptions are reversed by the courts. You will have to sign "relinquishment papers" after your baby is born. After signing, you may be given a limited period of time during which you may change your mind. In most states, minors do not need a parent's consent to choose adoption.

Adoption laws are different in every state. Find out in advance what they are in your state. You will need to find out what rights a birth father has in your state.  You may need his consent in order to plan an adoption.  You can also find out if your state allows legally enforceable contracts for ongoing visits. Talk with an adoption counselor or lawyer before deciding on any arrangement. Be sure to read everything very carefully before you sign.

Adoption is arranged in three ways:

• agency adoption 
• independent adoption 
• adoption by relatives

All adoptions must be approved by a judge in a family or surrogate court.

For more information and resources about arranging an adoption, contact the National Adoption Information Clearinghouse — call toll-free 1-888-251-0075 — or write to the National Adoption Information Clearinghouse, 1250 Maryland Avenue, SW, Eighth Floor, Washington, DC 20024.   Their Web site address is http://www.childwelfare.gov/adoption/index.cfm.

To locate local adoption resources, look in the yellow pages under "Adoption Agencies" and "Social Service Organizations."  You can also contact your state, county, or local department of family or child services, or your local Planned Parenthood center.

Agency adoption

You could place your child for adoption through a public or private agency that is licensed by your state. Agency adoptions may be open or closed adoptions, but they are most often open.

Agencies may:

• provide pre- and post-adoption counseling
• handle legal matters
• work with you to make hospital arrangements for your child's birth
• select, or work with you to select, a home for your child
• assist you in forming a relationship with the adoptive parents and in setting up plans for future visits (open adoptions)

Independent adoption

You can arrange an independent adoption through a lawyer.  In an independent adoption, you can still receive counseling and guidance through a local adoption agency.

In independent adoption, the adoptive parents may hire one lawyer to represent them and another to represent you. It's best to have a lawyer of your own to make sure your interests are protected. To find a lawyer that specializes in adoption, look in your local yellow pages under "Adoption Attorneys." A social worker can also help you find a lawyer.

Adoption by relatives

You may want your child to stay in your own family.  Your relative can work with an adoption agency, lawyer, or your state department of human services to arrange the adoption.  These are called kinship adoptions.  They must meet all the same legal requirements as any other adoptions.  Keep in mind that, you will have no more parental rights after a kinship adoption than if you had placed the child with strangers.

Here are some things to consider if you are thinking about adoption.

	True	False
1. I can accept not being my child's primary parent.	[ ]	[ ]
2. Adoption feels like what I ought to do, not what I want to do.	[ ]	[ ]
3. I don't feel I can fulfill all my child's needs and parent, now.	[ ]	[ ]
4. I'm choosing adoption because abortion scares me.	[ ]	[ ]
5. The child's father will approve of adoption.	[ ]	[ ]
6. No one is pressuring me to choose adoption.	[ ]	[ ]
7. I'll know my child will be treated well.	[ ]	[ ]
8. I can cope with the feelings of loss that I may have.	[ ]	[ ]
9. I have people in my life who will help me through the pregnancy and adoption.	[ ]	[ ]
10. I respect women who place a child for adoption.	[ ]	[ ]

Think about what your answers mean to you. You may want to discuss your answers with your partner, someone in your family, a friend, a trusted religious advisor, or your counselor.